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Bringing light to pregnancy and infant loss with love, support | Bakersfield Life

When a couple learns that they are expecting a child, they dream of future milestones – the first day of school, prom, a wedding. You can never imagine suddenly having to rethink what it was like to plan a funeral, something no parent should ever go through.

Out of this grief, the Noel Alexandria Foundation was founded in 2018.

In October 2017, Trinity Brown was stillborn. After going through that, she realized the lack of resources available in Kern County for families experiencing pregnancies and infant losses.

“Basically, our mission is to create awareness, raise awareness, and support,” said Brown, the foundation’s founder.

The Noel Alexandria Foundation, named for Brown’s daughter to keep her legacy alive, helps find educational and emotional resources for families facing such difficult circumstances.

The foundation brings in doctors and other health care professionals involved in pregnancy to discuss the various processes and how couples can try to have a family. As for emotional needs, support groups are offered twice a month, every first and third Thursday. There is financial support through their memorial fund and educational resources.

Mental health counselors are also available to cover everything from healthy coping skills to what it looks like to go through grief.

Since its inception, the foundation has helped many women and families through their loss.

Bettina Bruce found out about the organization through her sister-in-law, who works for a prenatal yoga company The Nest and Co. Colleagues told her about the group after Bruce and her husband lost their twin daughters in March 2019.

“The support group has helped us learn how to share our needs with friends and family while we process our grief. The support group also remembers each baby angel’s birthday and remembers us on special holidays, ”said Bruce.

The support group has also enabled them to connect with other families who have suffered infant loss or miscarriage, connect with others who have been through a similar situation, and support one another.

“You don’t have to suffer in silence after you’ve suffered a loss. You have someone to call or speak to who can help you come through the grief,” said Bruce.

She added that it is a safe place to express your emotions and also get support on how to deal with those emotions.

“It’s a charity trying to break the stigma of talking about miscarriages and infant losses,” said Bruce.

Toni Jones has known Brown and her family personally for some time. She and her husband Kevin had suffered a loss of their own, and the following year Brown lost their daughter.

Brown reached out to them and asked if they would pray for them, so Toni went to the hospital to pray and encourage them.

Since Toni had just been through the same thing, she knew what to say and knew what would make them feel good.

They were still healing, so the Joneses only joined the foundation a year ago.

“When we started taking part, I had the feeling that I would have wished that earlier,” said Toni.

The information given in the meetings was so helpful and enabled Toni to come to terms with PTSD after losing her babies.

She and Kevin also found it encouraging to hear from other couples who have lost children but are a little more advanced in their healing process. It gave her a sense of how to possibly deal with it.

Toni now carries Noel Alexandria cards with her and feels that she has met many others who have shared this loss and grief.

“It was a blessing for me to be able to offer you this information,” said Toni.

At first Toni wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted to go to a place where everyone would cry and mourn, but it wasn’t like that at all.

Kevin also pointed out that as men, they aren’t often encouraged to show their feelings or be vulnerable.

“You don’t always have to be strong, especially when you’re in the thick of it – organizations like the Noel Alexandria Foundation can be that strength for you,” said Kevin.

You never know how you or your process will help someone else through the same situation. What the Joneses came into contact with.

Brown said they have had really good reactions to the foundation and have a lot of people behind them and support them.

Brown is currently working with local hospitals and training others to go to the hospitals and speak to women who have lost children, to better prepare them for what they are about to enter, and to help them financially with funeral expenses help and other unforeseen costs.

“Many families are very grateful to have this financial support and then the emotional support,” said Brown. “I mean just knowing there are other families out there who have been through the same thing. It is very important for families to know that they cannot go through this alone. “

Brown said she doesn’t think people realize how common it is because it’s not talked about much.

“I think being able to talk more about it allows families to stop suffering and just move on in silence and not express their feelings,” Brown said.

Brown stated that when she went through her loss, she was fortunate to know what to do and what it would be like, and that is why she wants to give back to the community.

“I didn’t want her to be forgotten as if she didn’t exist, and that’s what we talk about in our support groups, keeping our babies and their memories alive,” Brown said.

The organization also runs fundraising campaigns throughout the year, such as the Angels 5K Run in October. In this way, parents can honor their children’s lives.

Families don’t have to suffer in silence. It’s about community and mutual help through the Noel Alexandria Foundation.

Those looking for help, donating, or volunteering for the organization can do so at any time through the noelalexandriafoundation.org website.

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