Meditation Retreats

10 Things I’ve Learned Along the Way

About Silent Group Meditation Retreats: 10 Things I Learned Along the Way

Few people have guided me through mindfulness and meditation like this Janet Solyntjes. As a longtime silent retreat leader, mindfulness-based stress reduction instructor (MBSR) and co-owner of the center for courageous livingJanet skillfully balances traditional meditation philosophies with practices that are firmly anchored in reality.

Janet was also my first extended silent retreat leader. Without their wisdom, I doubt whether I am where I am today, personally or professionally. Now I’m grateful to tell Janet’s story of her first silent retreat – and it didn’t start out as flawlessly as you might think. After all, experts also have to start somewhere.

In 1987 I attended my first silent group meditation retreat. It was a month long program held in a place called The Shambhala mountain centeror SMC. A couple of friends said it would be the perfect next stop on my meditative journey.

Quiet retreat was an abstract concept for me – just another box to tick myself off on my way to something more important. Perhaps I had fallen under the spell of spiritual materialism. Was I really looking for a higher or idealized state of peace – or did I just want a few testimonials of getting involved in what seemed like a very long time in which I had done nothing?

Would one month of intense practice make me a “better” spiritual person?

In the days leading up to the retreat, I felt my fear and concern about participating in the rigors of the long, disciplined days over a period of four weeks. I wasn’t sure what was causing the fear, but I wasn’t really worried.

Then came the day of arrival. I got in my car and headed up the hill towards the SMC. I had my map in hand (see 1987) to navigate the unmarked dirt roads that led to a place I had never been before.

As I approached SMC, the map showed a left turn – but the map didn’t know that I had calculated the mileage incorrectly. I turned left, immediately knowing I had taken the wrong turn, and panicked. This immediate sense of panic – borne by the previous days of fear and anxiety – made me flee down the mountain to find refuge with a friend.

Two days passed. The “Sirens of Retreat” haunted me with their screams to return, and I drove up the hill to SMC. At the end of the retreat 28 days later, I decided to stay and joined the staff at SMC.

Fast forward 32 years. I have now taken many silent retreats and have led them for over 20 years. Silent retreats have now become an integral part of my recipe for healthy living.

Here are ten things I learned about silent group meditation retreats:

  1. You never really know what to expect. Nothing is completely predictable.
  2. Paradoxically, the daily routine is pretty predictable – and maybe the only constant. The daily routine becomes a container for all things that are to be “cooked” under the fire in the practice.
  3. You will get bored, and boredom is a profound teacher.
  4. The Dharma, or wisdom as things are, can be heard as it is Not heard in daily life. During a retreat, the words penetrate deeply.
  5. Nature becomes the gateway to a magical world of self-existing holiness. Nature is a guide and teacher of the retreat.
  6. You can get to know people just by sitting still with them. You can even become a lifelong friend.
  7. The body – yours and everyone else’s – will be uncomfortable. Not always, but it is an inevitable part of the path of intense meditation practice. A wise Zen teacher said at the end of a long day of group meditation: “Body hurt?” That was all he had to say in his Dharma talk.
  8. Daily nutrition takes on a new meaning. With that in mind, eating will be an interesting form of entertainment. Whether you find it awesome or disappointing, it becomes a strong point of reference for anticipated pleasure.
  9. You will know what you didn’t know and you will remember what you forgot. What do you do with the insights you gained on the retreat? Nothing special. Let it come. Then let it go.
  10. You will miss your home and want to stay on the retreat forever, both at the same time, which is difficult to describe in words.

These are just my personal considerations. If you are drawn to a retreat – when the “sirens” call you too – why not give yourself the opportunity to attend one?

Are you drawn to a deep immersion – an indescribable immersion – in the only time you have to live? In the only home that you really have with this body? This ghost? This heart?

Now?

By Janet Solyntjes, co-owner of the Center for Courageous Living

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Is a silent meditation retreat calling your name? The only way to know for sure is to try it out for yourself.

It doesn’t have to be a month-long commitment like Janet’s first experience. Lots of retreats like mine donothing Leadership Silent Retreat, only last a few days and are perfect for beginners. As long as you step in with a curious mind and an open heart, not only will you be rejuvenated, but you will also leave with an insight you never even imagined.

If you have any questions about meditation, mindfulness, or silent retreats, don’t hesitate to contact me anytime Twitter, LinkedIn or through the Donothing website.

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